It has been so long since I started this thing and I have regular readers so if you never comment just comment so I can see who actually reads! As you already know I have a video on YouTube, I have received over 160 views, and that is fantastic. Thanks and a new video will go up on Monday.
Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.
This rant is directed towards white people so listen up. I was on a site earlier which had the title, “100 Things That White People Love”. There were other really interesting things there too but I decided to talk about this one. White people LOVE soccer. Now I am doing an extremely broad generalization right now so I understand that not EVERY white person like soccer but most do.
Especially soccer moms. Before I move on have you ever thought how horny soccer moms must be? I mean that van must be so MUCH space to have sex. Raunchy self-masochistic type sex.
But realistically they love the idea of soccer. White people love the fact that they can watch a sport which is not nearly as barbaric as hockey but not as boring as baseball is intriguing to them. See being American we believe that everyone else is below us so things that Europeans do is “cute”. Like why do you think we love Starbucks? Because it’s European. Thongs? That is defiantly a European thing (1 dollar to the person who catches an error here).
So what about Soccer? Why do white people love it? Well I will quote from the site, “In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf”. Another reason is because white people like telling their friends that they are into it. They love that kind of stuff. “O, Bob what did you do this weekend?” “Well I after I was done putting it in my wife’s poop shoot I sat down and watched a little soccer” “Really who was playing? The Giants or the Ravens?” “No not football. I think the Manchester Divided or Liverpoop”.
If you actually ask a white person to talk to you about a soccer game or talk about teams they would have NO idea.
Tomorrow I will talk about soccer fights. That needed its own rant.