Baseball started today. America’s most annoying past time started. Yes, I am sorry to all the Tommy’s and Dominican’s that I am offending right now but baseball is plain boring to me.
“Hey Jimmy want to pick up your long beigish brownish bat and smack some balls?”
Lol moving to the disclaimer so people do not catch feelings and blow up my honesty box about how I am disrespectful etc.
Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.
Turn on your radio. Go to your favorite station (mine is Lite FM it makes me feel happy) and take a good listen. Want to know who is on the radio? It’s probably Chris Brown. Now I will not forget that Justin Timberlake is the greatest white boy to grace a microphone (Michael Jackson is NOT white) and is leaps and bounds better than Chris Breezy, we must be frank here. As we speak Chris Brownstein is sliding into something. It can be either a car or a woman or anything he chooses to slide into.
Chris Browneezy could walk into a damn mall and have sex with every woman, gay man, lesbian, and food mascot there, not because they consider him good looking, no because he will moonwalk his way through the mall generating enough static electricity to get anyone horny. Chris the Bomb is practically untouchable. He has gotten to a point where he can piss in a bottle and call it healing water and it will sell one million bottles. It would be called the new vitamin water. “Chuck full of waste and minerals!”
Chris B-Rown could probably not beat Chuck Norris in a fight.
However, a dance off?
Chuck would break his spleen keeping up with those gyrations.
Chris Burnt could walk into your house, kick your dog, slap you in the face, have sex with your mother on YOUR bed, and leave; all you would do is tell your friends and they would only say –
“Wow. Chris Browned had sex with your mom? Sweet.”
Now keep in mind Chris Berown is currently with Rihanna who has a forehead you can land a 747 on. Why is Chris Brownt with her? Target practice.
Chris FLIPPIN Brown could dance his way through a funeral and EVERYONE would notice the fallen toe-wopping with him. You ever hear that song “No Air”? Well Chris Burns does not need any damn air. How else could he dance long enough to break the “black dancing” record?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Chris Buhrown can cure the crisis in Israel. His dance moves will inspire Jews and Muslims alike.
Chris Brown is the man.