Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.
PS – Someone is ACTUALLY making me a Wiki. Sweet.
My FAVORITE Flaws That Men Have When Talking To Women.
Sighting
This could be one of the most awkward ways of meeting a man. The problem with men is that we are WAY to quick to act. When we see a “bad” girl we automatically daydream for about ten seconds based on what we already can see.
We hit a home run, round the bases, and then do it again with another friend of your own.
Sad thing is we like to roll in packs and this makes it harder for us to even try and get with a girl that we just saw. You would think that a larger force always wins?
No. When dealing with a woman no one wins.
Until she says you can.
Even better is when they decide it is “cute” to yell extremely sexual things at someone we have never met.
“WHATS GOOD DARK CHOCOLATE LET ME TASTE YOU”
Lol I love being a man.
Friends
Friends are definitely the largest problem we have. Like someone said to me today,
“Trying to talk to a girl with stank friends is like looking for the rose in the thorn bush. You are going to get cut”
That is EXTREMLY true. Now I personally do not “bag” or “holler” but I will testify to the fact that walking through that thorn bush for the ultimate prize is a terrible feeling. One I would never want to bring on someone. It is like walking through a gauntlet and everyone has knives.
PMS? Do not even get me started. At least one girl out of the group is afflicted with it at the moment and this KILLS us. You walk through as each girl takes their pick at you and by the time you reach the prize you find out she was not as pretty as before.
Welcome to having a penis.
My Friend Wants To Holla
This mistake is practically UNFORGIVABLE. Since I am an extremely outgoing kid and since I am the one with the girlfriend I am the designated “hollerer”. It is like it is a buffet. They give me a plate and they tell me what to get, but just like Chinese Food it is never what it seems.
Meow.
You have to go through everything previously said in this rant. You must get cut by her friends, then you have to tell her who it is.
The best part is when she says, “Who” and it forces you to point his stupid-ass out. Hilarity ensues because 90% of the time we are thinking about past sexual experiences; so that means we like you but I am not waiting for you.
The 5 finger gf will take over later.
It is even better when girls do it. I love asking them why they cannot come over and talk to me which causes them to reply to me saying that they are shy.
I then proceed to tell them –
Then they are not worth my time.
<.b>Attitude
Now the people that actually DO sit down at a place and try their individual stupid passes on women but sometimes our attitude is seriously flawed.
Flawed is not even really a name for it.
Screwed.
Ladies do you not love when the guy guarantees stuff to you AFTER HE JUST MET YOU. After you were just texting his overly dressed self for the first time he is over their saying that he can give you orgasms through breathing on their face.
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