Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.
Today is 4/20 and I will NOT speak about Marijuana.
Since most of this week had to do with Relationships I have to close it out and I will with the final chapter.
Girl Fight
Girls Intimidating Other Girls
Now let’s not stray from the facts. I am a wimp but I LOVE to talk smack. Girls are the same way. No disrespect, but most girls (unless you are from BK [they are insane]) will not actually fight per say. They just love talking smack about the other girl.
Intimidation is probably one of my favorite things in watching girls argue. Black girls get in the others face pointing to the floor. Why do they point downward?
Genetics. Think about it.
You think Guys Like To Talk Smack?
Girls have practically redefined the art of talking smack. I make up for my various short comings by having a slick mouth and beautiful facial features, but girls have taken the smack talking ability to new heights. Before you call me crazy and ask how it possible that Mary Kate can probably make your father cry.
Bad example. Mary Kate is a crack head.
Ah-Hem. Kelly Clarkson.
Pissing a girl off is easy. If you find out what gets them angry and run with it these girls will go on for days. You ever see another girl call another one fat? That is devastating. Not only that girls can get vicious. They make fun of everything AROUND the girl. That dog she has? He is going to get it. Her boyfriend? It does not matter if he is a strapping young lad, he is going to get it too.
They do not make fun of me, I can only get compliments. It is humanely impossible.
Girls Fight Extremely Dirty
Being a man, we fight dirty. I know personally that we fight dirty. But girls? They are downright VISCIOUS. I have seen girl fights where it starts with them calling each other plus sized then it escalates to food throwing, and the next day they meet up AGAIN and guess what one brings
Diet Pills. Freaking Diet Pills.
Fantastic.
Not only that when girls are about to fight the whole WORLD stops. I work in a mall and I have seen a busy fast paced day halt when a fight involving girls was taking place outside. Everyone watches in awe. You can be breastfeeding your kid but if Shirley and Melissa decide to throw down, that kid is falling to the floor.
Not only that, they like to backstab each other. Some girls end up falling a few levels down on the Smutness chart in order to get back at other girls. Is that not perfect?
But the apex of dirty female fighting has to be one of the times I have seen Nair used in a fight.
Now I use Nair to make sure my balls are clean and spic and span but these girls RUB it in each other’s hair during a fight.
Very attractive. Makes me hard. Almost as hard as watching the Red Sox lose.
Lol what is wrong with me?
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