My Daily Rant - 5.31.08 - I ♥the Sex Scenes in Sex and the City

One week until my birthday. Yes! The greatest day in human existence is almost here. How fun is this going to be? Extremely fun. What am I doing for my birthday? Check this out…

I still am throwing my Black B Q when Obama locks down the nomination, BUT, I should have a flat out rave for my birthday party. Now do not get me wrong there will be some rap for all of you black people, but the whole party will be themed Techno. Glowsticks, stupid dancing, and tight enclosed places.

Yesterday should have been called Driving Miss Melinda. My sister plays an important part in my life especially when she does not have her own car to take her places. So I spent 40 in gas for half a tank (fuck) and took her to tedious places like the salon. I mean we are not like normal brothers and sisters because I guess we do not argue as much? Yet we do not talk THAT much? I still dislike her Japanese Ricer driving boyfriend.

VTEC@!!!!1111!! YO

Tomorrow is my sisters graduation and I have Boom and Pow written into the sides of my head. My mother wants met to get my head shaved in order to get rid of the styles.

*Update8
I will not be attending her graduation apparently. Why? Because I will not change my hair.

HA.

I eventually make my way towards every woman’s most anticipated movie, Sex and the City or as I call it, Intercourse in the Metropolis.

My name is 10x better.

Now I will not spoil the movie for some of the girls who have not seen it yet, BUT, I will discuss the experience. Experience?

Yes it was an experience. Why?

Women.

It was insane how many Middle-aged women were in that theatre. Like, if you played Michael Jackson’s Thriller EVERYONE would have gotten up and done the dance. Shoot, some of these women were around for the LAST gas crisis. Now I am not am not going to practice ageism. However, if you were a girl in that theatre, you were either too young to even get into the movie, or you were on Menopause/had a kid already/ dragged your husband to see it.

Not only this, yesterday had many people dressed as if we were going to see a Barbra Streisand concert. I saw more heels (and girls that can walk in them) yesterday than at a middle school graduation. Think about that.

Screwing them up from the start.

So it is Sex and the City right? There are scenes that involve SEX. The funny part about these sex scenes was how many mothers in the theatre said, “Cover your eyes”. So many times. Gosh that was funny. I mean these two people on the screen are playing a game of hide the penis and the parents are telling their kids to cover their eyes.

IT IS SEX AND THE CITY PEOPLE. Shit, the NAME just insinuates WHAT IS GOING TO BE IN THE MOVIE. If I was that kid I would be so tight about my mother teasing the shit out of me. Why? Do not bring me to Sex and the City and expect me to only watch the city part. I mean, shoot, I would go and have sex RIGHT AFTER THAT just to spite my mother if she said something like that.

That is like going to an ice cream parlor and only eating the cone.

Going to France and not eating bread.

Going to England and not seeing bad teeth.

Watching Baseball and it is actually entertaining.

Denying sex and just going to rub one off.

Going to a black BBQ and not having ribs.

Seriously. It makes no sense. Now I will say that one of them does show her boobs in the movie. I do not remember her name? Maranda I think? For being a 48 year old red head, she has a nice pair of daytime reflectors.

After the movie, I headed down to Andrews house and hung out with Amityville’s finest. Two things I learned from that point were that the Twins are probably alcoholics (lol), and they love making fun of people in wheelchairs.

I mean, the conversation just got weird.

One question that I even thought about was,

If you are blind, do you get the spins when you are drunk?