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I was supposed to go to the beach today. I was supposed to sit in the sun looking fine as ever and soak up that sun. I was supposed to try to learn to swim today. That all changed. What happened?
I will not delve into what caused this interruption of my day, but let us just put on the record that it was significant and annoyed me to no end.
After that was all settled my day was pretty much over. I headed to the beach (Amityville Beach) and had a particulary rousing conversation with Courtney. One thing she said made me laugh,
“Soccer. That is all every other country does when they are bored, drunk, high. Just…soccer.”
To an extent, that is true as hell. In America what do we do when we are in an altered state of mind?
White Castle and fat chicks.
Either one will make you expel waste the same way.
Maybe that says something about us; maybe we have low standards. But is not shooting for the stars the American way?
Answer me that. What is the American way?
I then decided to trek it to Manhattan with a few members of the car club that I am apart of. I was the only one riding by myself so I had a lot of thinking to do. Here is my thoughts
Honestly…how do some of these idiots get graffiti on signs that are elevated over 20ft in the air? Is it really that important to tag your turf? It works JUST AS WELL to spit on it or to urinate on the same spot.
But then, we would have people urinating on signs over 20 feet in the air.
However, if they can spray something that high in the air anything is possible.
As you get closer to the city, it gets hotter
Gross. Want to know why I think that is gross? That is pollution. Yes people. Pollution. All of those taxi cabs in the city spewing out gases makes it a lot hotter there. If I feel a drastic temperature increase AS I am driving into the city when I am 10 miles out from it, that is a problem.
But who cares? Not me. Probably Al Gore. That guy definitely cares about this whole “pollution” thing. It has to be a phigment of our imaginations.
Just like PMS.
Parking in the city is like having sex with a girl that MIGHT have aids…
With out a condom. Why do I say this? Because you have no idea what level of screwed you are going to be when you pull out. You pull in thinking everything is alright, and you pull out with tickets/fungus all over you.
It is like playing Russian Roulette. And shoot, I am from LONG ISLAND. Those damn street signs have to be in another language than English. They make me feel like I am signing my life away or donating sperm or something.
I always donate my sperm.
Jacques luh dah kiiiidzzz.
The funny thing about parking in the city is the undercover cops giving tickets while you do it. Not only do they have nothing better to do to give me a ticket, they have to sit there for days writing the damn thing THEN give it to me.
Don’t you LOVE police?