8.02.2008

Stumbled On: Anything Black...


I found this on http://anythingblack.net/. The first one is actually a work of art IMO but the second one is just downright retarded. But like, totally, that is the cool thing right now? That wack old school style.

Please.


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My Daily Rant - 8.02.08 - Because of Facebook...It is now alright to hit girls

Well ever since Facebook started people have been using it as an excuse to blame things on. Apparently it killed MySpace, made stalking easier, and now it is possible to beat women because of it. Apparently a Facebook sponsored event in London was the site of "setting a women straight".

That was a joke by the way. I love women. Just as much as I love coo-.

Now believe me as you can see in the step by step pictures, the girl throws Kool Aide on the dude, he turns around, and hits her in the face.

That is SO bad ass. I mean, shit, he clocked her. Knocked her out cold. She will be feeling that in her ovaries for weeks. Not even ovaries, like, he can cause cervical cancer like that. Like...damn. I do not think she will be able to cook after that.

None the less check the pictures out. Pretty insane stuff.





Photo's courtesy of Gunnabee.com


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8.01.2008

My Daily Rant - 8.01.08 - NO MILEY NO!



As it is already known I have a small infatution with this pop star Miley Cyrus. I am not one of her screaming "fans" but if she was older? Believe me I would give it to her...hard? Yes.

Lets strike that from the record please.

Thank you.

Back to today's rant. Apparently it seems that Miley is going to kill off Hannah Montana in cold blood. Why? Because Miley has gotten too powerful for Hannah Montana to compete with. Now we already know and understand fully that even though she is a teenager that loves to do normal teenager things...like posting nude pictures of her self on her Myspace for the whole world to see (and fap too you pedo's). But that is not what I am trying to say here.

Miley, why?

60% of little girls will be placed on suicide watch. I knew little girls that were obsessed with this show. Personally I have never watched an entire episode but it must be good if it has these chicks captivated.

Captivated? More than capitvated. Miley do not do it. Do not kill your alter-ego off. You need her, the same way DMX needed Satan in Stop Being Greedy or the way Mr Sickle Cell Prodigy needed Nas in Self Conscience.

Now take the roll of my man Heath. Succumb to your alter-ego. You never know, maybe you will not kill yourself due to Hannah's overly blonde self.

Send me an email...what do you think? fuzzhead035@gmail.com

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Advertising?

Looking to advertise on JacquesMorel.com?

Would you like too?

Shoot me an email...
fuzzhead035@gmail.com

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7.31.2008

Stumbled On: Look at Redman's new whip...

email me! fuzzhead035@gmail.com for advertising requests etc.

Remember Redman's classic line in How High? Study high, take the test high, get high grades?

Actually that might have been Method Man...o well they are both black so...same thing. Funny thing is, someone actually told me that. That all black people look alike so there for we are the same.

Just like Pokemon. Ha.


Music video here.

shoot me an email with what you think
fuzzhead035@gmail.com

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Artist of the Week: DMX

Since I like to fill my mind with mindless dribble from time to time I tried to listen to Soulja Boy. You know, give the south some respect and make him my artist of the week.

Screw that.

Since New York is the greatest place in Hip Hop history my artist of the week is none other than DMX. Everyones favorite crazy inspired raper is what I am listening to for the next week. Why? Because DMX has the RIGHT AMOUNT of insanity that I need. In rememberance here is DMX - Ruff Ryders Anthmn


Idiot.

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Stumbled On: LMFAOOOOOOO

LMFAOOOOOOOO Props to JD for finding this.

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Stumbled UPon: iPhone 3g An Expenisve Piece of Shit?????


Hmmmm, move over Rick Ross it seems as though a new hustler has moved into town, and that hustler is Apple.

It seems as though Apple loves to jiggle the titties of it's consumers by providing them with visually stunning half ass examples of technology. The first example of this is the MacBook Air. A certain co-worker of mine shelled out $1500 for one of these to discover that this wonderful laptop, which btw could fit in a manila envelope, had no fuckin CD-rom drive. Now I'm no Geek Squad employee, but one must ask themselves how the fuck are you supposed to install shit when there is no fucking CD-rom drive. Now this completely takes the fun out of copping the latest in bootleg DVD's from Liu Kang, or Shakeem in the nail salon at the corner if there is no place to put the DVD on the laptop. So for those who consdier themselves tech savvy this may have been a must cop, only to realize that the MacBook Air was only a weightless shell of a computer.

However back to the topic at hand Apple has done it again. With the iPhone I Apple had itself a home run. WTF an iPod, WiFi, and a cell phone, all in one, with an interface that looked 10x better than its shittier looking predecessors (i.e. the Treo, Blackberry, Sony Walkman Phone). So ppl purchased the wonderphone and loved it, as its functionality matched its beauty. Minus the fact that there was no AIM, I mean what bad could anyone say about the iPhone. God forbid u lose EDGE connection..........Fuck It i'll steal somebody's wireless.

Enter the iPhone 3g. Now the sight of seeing a 75 year old woman waiting at the back of a line that wrapped around the Apple store made me laugh and cry. Not since the Sidekick LX have I seen so many people so thirsty over a fucking phone. What makes it worst is that many of these people saw the price as justification for waiting on line in the 90 degree weather, without considering what the phone was really capable of. I looked at some of the people, some with the first generation iPhone in hand, as each person sweat 10 pounds off in the midday sun. I was almost lured into purchasing one myself until I found this article today which eliminated all desire for the new iPhone. In the article a pissed off consumer states that unless you are in the city, or some metropolitan area......................ur pretty much fucked if you want to partake of this wonderful faster 3g internet. So basically unless you plan on spending every day of your life in the 5 boroughs, or some metropolitan area, your phone is pretty much worthless. But seeing as how mankind is stubborn, let's weigh the pros and cons and let you be the judge.

Pros:
  • Faster Internet
  • Still a Bitch Magnet
  • AIM
  • Improved GPS w/o turn by turn directions (really fucking helpful)
  • A $199 Price (meaning Bookie and Shnookie and all the mofos in the hood can use their welfare check and have one)
Cons:
  • An Increased Monthly Bill (As if the 120 dollars a month for the first iPhone shit wasn't enough)
  • No Service Outside of the City (So u basically have a fucking Nextel)
  • No turn by turn GPS

Hmmmm, Convinced?????????? Who knows, with all the bootleg ass touch screen phones to blaze the market in the latter half of the year, maybe there may be one to challenge the iPhone 3g. Until then unfortunately if you've already bought one, you are the proud owner of a half assed piece of shit. My solution go out and cop a 1st Gen iPhone.

Just Informing the Public. lol


Kid Fresh.

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My Daily Rant - 7.31.08 - Lil Wayne Has a New Video...it sucks.


Lil Wayne - Got Money Video

Call me a hater. Call me jealous. Call me a genius. I dislike this guy. A lot. Now watching the video, it is obvious that it is a continuance from the A fucking annying Millie video. Yea Now yea I am hating and I know that you people seem to treat this guy like he is the second coming. But really the video is not good at all.

The video is not as special as the first one. Not even going to lie, I thought the first video was clever. It was completely random and idiotic and I felt like I was drinking promethesyzne just like he does as his morning spark-up. I can barely watch past the part where he takes a shit but I feel like that was a little clever.

This video on the other hand is pretty damn stupid. What is with this crack-head that EVERYONE likes so much? I have spoken on it NUMEROUS times and I do not understand. People like me for my strikingly good looks and bubbly personality but Lil Wayne? He has none of that. Trash. THAT'S WHAT HE IS TO ME.

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Stumbled On: Sesame Street..>Ante Up Bitch!

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My Daily Rant - 7.31.08 - The power of fried chicken is strong in this one..

I consider myself a very observant person. I have the complex ability of being able to tell a bra sizes with the feel of one hand. I was surfing the internet today and I read a story about a man who succumbed to a plea bargain for a bucket of chicken. Do not get me wrong, I love chicken but please...

He basically hung himself...for a bucket of chicken. Being a black man (or an attractive man if you were paying attention), I know our lust for fried chicken. Actually, scratch that. Being a human being I already know our lust for fried chicken. Everyone eats it. Everyone loves it. Everyone buys it.

However, us blacks purchase it in bulk apparently? Not only do we purchase it in bulk, we are able to screw our lives over for chicken.

Shit, I hope its fried and comes with free insulin shots.

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7.30.2008

My Daily Rant - 7.30.08 - Do Blondes Have More Fun? Yes.

I will not go in depth here, but Do Blondes REALLY have more fun? Yes because they stand out. Honestly you can notice a hot blonde from across a parking lot just because of how the color reflects off of the sun. I am not saying that brunettes are sub par but I am saying that blondes just stand out more.

Personally they are not my cup of coffee...I like my cup of coffee spanish with a little asian sprinkled in it. Another thing is that Blondes are sort off...how can I put it that will not slash my female readership in half...an American Iconic sort of thing. We make it seem like blondes are more fun even if they are truly not.

So essentially...yes blondes do have more fun. In my opinion? Spanish girls have more fun...with me.

Naked.

With whip cream.

And a skateboard.

DID THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? Nope.

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Would you hit? : Ciara


Since I frequent many celebrities blogs, I noticed that Ciara's blog posted pictures which show her brilliant side of crack head that she has in her. You can find more pictures here...

Would I? Nope. Would you?

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Stumbled On: Finding Biggie Smalls for New Movie

Courtesy of RealTalkNY

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My Daily Rant - 7.30.08 - Did you think your parents were over protective?

Well then meet my parents. As we speak I have two members of the female species sleeping at my house. Now my mother was completely fine with them sleeping over, but she felt uncomfortable at first and wanted to sleep in the same room with them.

I am not four.

Well we regulated things slowly now everything is fine and going the way I think it should. The way it SHOULD be. But this brings up an interesting question...why are some parents so lack while others are complete dicks?

I know a few parents that shut down activity for their child at 9 PM...even though their kid has a 3.5 GPA...at an accredited college. I know a few parents who do not care at all what their children do. I know a few parents that try and try but just cannot seem to get it right.

I have no idea where my parents are in this "spectrum" of child rearing. What side am I going to take? The side with the condoms on it.

And the various scantily clad women. Jacques luh dose (those).

I mean what exactly are parents REALLY trying to go for when they do things like put their kids on leashes things like that? Does that make the kid want to run away just for the simple fact that he already is not supposed to?

Look at slavery. Shit, we were all about leashes but it made us not want to run away.

But what if we take laisezz faire attitude on this? What if we play it aloof and only spend 20% of the time in the child's life? He could either blossom, or shit the bed.

It is like the roll of the dice, you play your hand and you are most like screwed because the odds are always against you. Disappointing is it not?

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7.29.2008

My Daily Rant 7.29.08 - Star Wars? its like porn..timeless

I was in Manhattan with Garyna today and I noticed something which made me laugh...Star Wars is timeless. It came out years ago and kids are still being entranced into it today. It is like an age old thing which still keeps us as interested and entertained as possible. It is sort of like listening to Tupac...or watching wrestling...or pornography.

Yup.

I say this because everyone goes through their fads where they are obsessed with either three. I remember for a time that I was obsessed with wrestling. All I did was eat, sleep, and breath it. I knew all the damn characters and even how much oil they used before the match. I was excited to see them. I wanted to be them.

I then grew out of it.

Tupac? He is the same thing. I wanted to be him; minus the whole THUG-LYFE getting shot part. I listened to everything he put out and I believed in that Illuminati crap that Prodigy's sickle cell having ass loves to believe in. Tupac? He was me for a while. Then I moved on.

Porn?

We already know how I am with this and I discussed it fully during my rant about my trip to Albany. That was the complete unadulterated truth.

Star Wars?
It is the same thing. It is what keeps some peoples' lives moving on a daily basis. That is depressing...yes, but it is also extremely entertaining. I mean of course the movies that came out after the original trilogy were bordeline rats piss, but hey...you still went and saw it did you not?

Entertainment...that is what we all strive. I am about to download some "entertainment" right now...

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Got an Idea? Shoot me an email.

Yea shoot me an email at

fuzzhead035@gmail.com

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Stumbled On: Rick Ross' Land of Make Believe

It seems that no one is going to let Rick Ross go because the "biggest boss that we see thus far" was a cop and now the floodgates are opening. The black "blob" as I have called him is the butt of every internet joke.

Rawwss.
Found this on Sandra Rose

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My Daily Rant - 7.29.08 - WOO! MCCAIN!

At work today Steve and I were making fun of a little girl that walked away to talk to her boyfriend. I pointed out that they are probably talking about meaningful things such as the election and who they were voting for. Someone then asked Steve who he was voting for and he screamed...

MCCAIN! WOO! HE IS ALL ABOUT CHANGE. CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE FOR THE WHITE MAN!

Personally, I have no idea who I am voting for. Yea it is a difficult decision. I mean, my one vote holds SO much power in deciding the president of the United States. I will vote; I believe people who do not vote willingly should not have rights. But I do not know who to vote for.

Everyone expects me to pick Obama for the obvious reason...we are both extremely attractive. Since we are both extremely attractive we must roll together...as one...extremely attractive person. That is why I should vote for Obama because he will change the lifes for us extremely attractive people.

McCain on the other hand...is ugly. McCain cannot change things for us extremely attractive people. Bush made life miserable for us by leaving us with out camera's to go to New Orleans with. Bush made the life of the extremely attractive..difficult yet enduring. Being as hot as I am, am I ready to vote an Republican into the presidency again?

Maybe I am. Maybe I believe that being ugly is the way the country should move right now. What if Barack Obama does not really help me, the hot one, to become hotter? I mean Fox apparently hates attractive people. They tell me I should vote ugly. They tell me that ugly is the way to go.

I do not want to hang out with the Rosie Odonnells(sp?) and Ellen Degeneres'. I want to hang out with the Denzel's, Halle's, and Beyonce's. All attractive people. Barack relates with this...attractive group. But does that make me want to vote for him?

I have no damn idea.


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Stumbled On: How to Wear a Beanie 18 Different Ways..



Found this on Hypebeast. Who knew? I was just used to a ski mask....

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7.28.2008

My Daily Rant - 7.28.08 - I Own Spanish Ladies at Drive throughs

If you have never met me in person you may already know how stupid I get sometimes. I hate when people eat, smoke, drink in my car and yet every now and then it just happens. It mostly happens when I head to the drive through. O well lets move on.

Steve, Michelle, and I head to the drive through at Checkers. At this moment Michelle had to use the bathroom but Steve and I were not having it and since she was sitting in the back...I was not gonna let her out. We get to the drive through and Steve pulled out coupons from our last trip to Checkers. We were supposed to get the 2+2=4 deal. Here is how it went down...


O yea she had a hispanic accent..so read it with that.
"Can I help you?"

"Whats up home skillet...err can I have the 2+2=4 deal?"

"What?!?"

"2.+.2=4 deal."

"What is this deal you speak of?"

"I do not know... I have this piece of paper here"

"Do you have a COUPAWWWN?"

"What?"

"A COUPAWWN?"

"What is a coupawwn? I have this piece of paper"

"What paper?"

"This one" I then shove the paper at the intercom"

"drive up to the window please!"

Now she was tripping out. I think she was pretty mad and I normally do not care at all when people are mad at me...but not when they are handling my food. She took for EVER to give us the food, and Steve made a joke about them spitting in it. That made me laugh and I slammed my steering wheel and the car honked. We froze. The lady came outside and said..
"Is there a damn problem?"

"No...my bad"

"Then calm down"

When we got the food the fries were soggy. Yea they spit in that food alright. Ugh...we ended up having to go to Taco Bell across the street to get food. Steve tried to educate me on drive through etiquette and Michelle kept complaining that she had to use the bathroom. When we parked at the Taco Bell we told her to just go use it in the bush. Now she was complaining that it was dark over there so we told her to go behind the dumpster. She obliged and when she walked over Steve looked at me and said...

"Shes gonna get raped dude."

"Wow...MICH-"

"Shh..just finish your taco."

Needless to say she was not raped.

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My Daily Rant - 7.28.08 - I hate thoes damn surveys on myspace

I signed on to Myspace ( I rarely ever sign on to MySpace) and I see that everyone on my bulletin board has posted a damn survey. Now I read like two (Marcellas because I stalk the living crap out of you) and I noticed that everyone has the same type of answer. So, since I like being "new" I am going to answer the same survey with my answers.

Here we go.

marry the last person you kissed?
I have no idea.




If you could change your eye color would you?
Well I would make it something that you would notice, because you should notice me. So therefore i would have to say Neon Green.



Ever kissed your number 1 on Myspace?
Yup I beat that UP.

What is the biggest secret you know about your top friend?
One of my top friends is black. You BETTER NOT fucking tell no one! Yea I double negatived. Deal with it. Nigga.



Last person you told a secret to?
Xiomara. She knows about the mexicans I have playing beer pong in my basement.



What are you listening to at the moment?
A porno is being downloaded...so no music only mental preparation


Did you ever date the last person you kissed?
Nope not at all



What's your favorite thing about Sundays?
Nothing. NO SEX ON SUNDAYS.



When was the last time you cried?
I am crying right now...I just looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful I was and it made me tear.

Do you hate anyone?
Yea. You.


Last phone call received?
Steve


What are you wearing on your feet?
Skin...they are hot in the streets.

Who did you last get into a big argument with?
Steph



Would you have sex with someone you had known less than 24 hrs?
Only anal

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
yeah


If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be?
Hm...I would have to say...my man Heath Ledger. I have not heard from him in months. He said he was going to sleep the last time I talked to him...he said good night and that was it.



Ever kissed someone who's name starts with a A?
Yeaaaa



When will your next kiss be?
My dog.



Do you have a best friend to lean on?
Yea but he is MAD tall yo. Seriously...So leaning? nah.


What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Wet dreamsssss

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
short.

If you were at a reasonable age, would you prefer a baby boy or girl?
Neither. YAY FOR CONDOMS!

What was the weather like today?
muggy & rain

Where are your mom and dad?
dad is upstairs in his room...mom is up up stairs...in her room.

Do you want to cut your hair?
Nah I like it all natural.

What was the last thing you hid?
Those mexicans

Are you over the age of 25?
nah

Do you wake up cranky?
Well...it depends on the direction I wake up...watch out if it is face down

Would you curse in front of your parents?
WHERE MY DAMN FOOD WOMEN?


If a fairy godmother comes into your life, you'd...
Try and holla...and if she was not having it I would tell her to go away...MAD other godmothers in this place



What is your current annoyance?
My gotdamn dog




Do you like drama?
Yea.

Last time you were on a boat and where?
1600-1790's.



Where is your computer located?
Basement...shower...toilet...you pick.



What was the last item you bought?:
Panties....lmao

What country has the best food?:
Iceland...that stuff is MAD good.

Last time you used a coupon?:
LMFAO 2+2=4 at the checkers

Are you afraid of roller coasters?:
When I am drunk? Yes

If your best friend told you they were moving, you?:
Too late



Would you rather go to a party or out of town?:
Party...screw leaving my town

Apple Bottom Jeans or Hollister gift card?:
Apple Bottom Jeans...so I can ask the people to model em for me.

Say a random word?:
NOM NOM NOM

Do you wear anything with skulls?:
Yea a few shirts

What age do you want to be married?:
Um...Late never.


Where and when did you last go on vacation?:
Puerto Rico April 07



Where is your mom right now?
Sleeping...that question was pointless



What are you supposed to be doing right now?:
Sleeping...with you.

What is your 5 year plan?:
Cars, Cash, Fairy Godmothers.



What is your 10 year plan?:
A expensive job and a fast lifestyle

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7.27.2008

Fashion: For Those of You Who Don't Know the Oracle, More Air Yeezy Colorways





Image Credit: kicksonfire.com, theshoegame.com

-Kid Fresh-

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Fashion: Nike Air Yeezy: An Upcoming Revolution in Sneaker Culture, or another Example of Kanye's Arrogance?


First and foremost I would like to thank Jacques for motivating me to get back into blog writing by adding me to the team so I can pass my knowledge on to the masses regarding my area of expertise..........aka Sneakers and Females. Sounds a bit sad that over the past 3 years this is the only thing that I've learned from St. Johns University.

However my premier blog will not be a tutorial on how to get a girl naked in less than 7 days, this one is for my sneaker heads out there who love having a fresh pair of Nikes on their feet.

(Disclaimer: I am in fact a big fan of Kanye West, so please don't think this blog is trying to get at Kanye in any way.)

I don't know how many people remember the grammys and the light show also known as Kanye's performance (which btw was fuckin ill in case u missed it) . But for those of you that did manage to catch his performance this image may ring a bell.
So despite the glow in the dark jacket, the glow in the dark sunglasses, and the big ass MOMMA scrawled to the back of his head, I happen to notice these sexy shoes reminiscent of the stylish Ato Matsumoto cowhide sneakers that Kanye successfully made into a sneakerhead's wet dream.

In the weeks following the Grammys I check my normal lineup of sneaker culture websites that I call "the oracle" , to find out that Kanye is getting his own shoe called the Air Yeezy. Now to someone who loves Nike, getting your own signature shoe is like getting an autographed picture of GOD. I mean think about it look how many athletes got their own signature shoe, and look at how popular those shoes have become despite how good or bad the player is.

Now for those of you who aren't sure who Nike has on their All Star roster, Kanye West is now being added to a list that includes Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter, Kevin Garnett, Penny Hardaway, and Paul Rodriguez, just to name a few. Nike is known for scooping up the best of the best of the best in sports, and leaving the scraps for other brands like Reebok and Adidas.

However KANYE IS NOT AN ATHLETE!!

So this raises the question, is the collaboration of Nike and Kanye another example of Kanye being Kanye?, or is Mr. West a fashion revolutionary? I'm sure we have all been up watching television late at night and have said WTF to the "Be Kanye" commercials where the lame white dude takes 2 Alka Seltzer looking tablets and transforms into Kanye. I mean if that isn't vain and conceited, then I don't know what is. But over the past few years Kanye's brash confidence has been shown not only in the rhymes that he spits, but in the clothes that he wears. For example in the American Boy video he sports a mink pea coat. A mink fucking pea coat.............................who does that. Being a straight male wearing a mink is enough of a fashion statement, much more to wear a mink wool coat. It's on the same level as wearing Man Uggs.


However I feel that this shoe is much more than just another way of Kanye saying "look at me I'm cool", but it's showing 2 things. 1) Kanye was dead ass serious about making himself into a living trend (i.e. the Jeremy Scott shutter shades) and 2) Nike is just adding another hit to its repertoire of popular sneakers.

I'm also glad Nike chose to collaborate with Kanye, an artist that actually has a sense of style, unlike Reebok who for some reason thought that the Ice Creams, G-Units, and S. Carters were stylish shoes.


Now before I finish going on about how wonderful Nike and Kanye are for taking another $150 dollars out of my life I just want to point out to those who have been completely clueless, that the Air Yeezy is quite possibly a combination of 3 popular shoes (see below), one being the Air Jordan 3, another being the Ato Matsumoto Cowhide sneaker, and another being the BAPE Roadsta shoe.
++
=

As you can see the shoe shares the oversized tongue of the Ato Matsumotos, the toebox and front of the Roadsta, and the same Air Pocket in the sole as the Air Jordan 3. Colorways to expect from this shoe so far include Black, Tan, and Blue/Grey. For those wondering when these shoes will release, all we have to go on from Nike or Kanye is a verse from Kanye's freestyle that goes as such:

"
“N*gga got a lot of Nike’s, now Nike giving me checks. November “what” n*ggas gonna get the Yeezy’s”"

Thanks to theshoegame.com for that info. So ladies and gentlemen you have roughly 4 months to save your welfare checks, get that job at McDonald's, sell your semen, sell your hair, whatever you need to do to add these to your collection.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES.

-Kid Fresh-

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My Daily Rant - 7.27.08 - When I Am Drunk I Talk To Inanimate Objects

This happened a week ago today. I just never got around to writing about it.

I was supposed to have a party at my house because my parents had left. I was excited and I set up the beer pong table, got the alcohol out and prepared to have a blast. That same night two other people wanted to have people over. So I canceled my party and moved everyone to another party. Before we left, Courtney, Nicole and I made Jungle Juice in my pitcher. I had to bring this pitcher back. AND WE EMBARK ON OUR EPIC JOURNEY...JACQUES MOREL AND THE PITCHER!

I let the pitcher leave with Courtney and Nicole. I needed to bring that pitcher back because if I did not, my mother would realize I had people over and then the questions would arise. There can be NO questions about my nights from my parents.

Nicole and Courtney left and I was picked up by Sarah. Now an hour had gone by. I had an entire pitcher full of Jungle Juice waiting for me. I was estatic. I get to the party and the pitcher was empty. I was so angry. I walked upstairs and Nicole and Courtney had ALREADY made it up to me by filling a jug of iced tea with vodka so that tasted good and I was excited for that. At this time the pitcher was sitting on the table waiting for its master to come take it home. It was then thrown to the floor and then thrown in the sink.

I was walking around mingling and laughing and drinking cups of that Iced Tea. I must have drank about 5 or 6 cups of that thing. Now it tasted horrible, but I recently started to grow some hair on my balls so that helped. I started to get drunker as the night went on and then I remembered...I NEEDED MY PITCHER.


The following is bits and pieces with a little filler. I was drunk...I did not remember the WHOLE night.


I ran upstairs and I looked right at Courtney and screamed.. "WHERE IS MY PITCHER?!?!" and she responded she did not know. I furiously ran into the kitchen and started looking for my pitcher. It NEEDED to come home with me.

After looking far and wide I found it. I picked it up and jumped and held it close to me. I felt the touch of its hard plastic skin. I felt one with the pitcher. Someone looked at at me and asked what I was doing and I took the pitcher and flapped its top and talked for it.

I was insane. I looked at it and said, "Do not worry baby...you are coming home with me. I will never leave you again." I left the pitcher a few times that night but each time I made sure to tell someone that I had to come home with it. When I brought it home I set it down in the kitchen and told it that I loved it and I was proud to see it home alive.

Ugh. When I am Drunk I talk to inanimate objects.

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Stumbled On : Dipset the Movie

Lol Cam'ron at his best. Check them all out here
Props to FilnoBep on Youtube.

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Story Time : Fat Chick and h&m cannot be in the same sentence.

This is from my boy Josh. Apparently he had a run in with 3 people at the fitting room at H&M.

Or two fat chicks.

Why does it equal to three? Well on flights if you are too plus sized they charge you for two seats...which means that there is an extra half of you. So 1.5 + 1.5 = 3.

Lets get into the story -
"

RiDiQuLouZ (1:09:36 AM): yo
RiDiQuLouZ (1:09:45 AM): boxers or briefs.
fuzzhead035 (1:09:52 AM): boxers
RiDiQuLouZ (1:09:55 AM): seriously i copped some briefs today..they fuckin rock..comfortable as shit
fuzzhead035 (1:10:02 AM): wait..
fuzzhead035 (1:10:05 AM): boxer briefs?
RiDiQuLouZ (1:10:17 AM): iono the long leg tight shits
RiDiQuLouZ (1:10:29 AM): that cut off upper thigh
RiDiQuLouZ (1:12:25 AM): yo guess wha happend in the fitting room today
fuzzhead035 (1:12:43 AM): what?
RiDiQuLouZ (1:13:30 AM): these two supposedly fat chics,from how they were speaking you could obviously tell that they were fat...i even heard the inhales and exhales and shit. o well so they were just bashing on H&M man, like they were complaing how the music sucked and how they couldnt dance to it..and i was in the fitting room like..

they would probably cause an earthquake.

so anyway i was trying on jeans and they were complaing about how everything was WAY to tight in H&M because it is european. yea becasue in europe no one is a walking Noahs Arc
fuzzhead035 (1:17:04 AM): lmao
RiDiQuLouZ (1:18:08 AM): eventually they started joking about trying to fit into size-0's. i was thiking to myself, why waste your time? all you are going to do is further downplay your self esteem faster than i could and i am good at that. apparently after they said they were going to Fredericks to go bathing suit shopping.

that SUCKS for the chick that works there. they should have suicide pills located under the register for shit like that. TAKE IN CASE OF FAT CHICK.
fuzzhead035 (1:21:01 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHA dude i wish chicks walked in my store in GENERAL.
RiDiQuLouZ (1:21:47 AM): madd true all u get is dudes..no homo lol
fuzzhead035 (1:22:16 AM): of course
fuzzhead035 (1:22:18 AM): all the sexy ones.

No homo.










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My Daily Rant : I am cool with not going back to school.

As we all know, that time is rolling around again where we have to roll back into school. Gone will be the days of getting so drunk that you talked to inanimate objects. The days of meeting completely random people and calling them your best friends a few days later. The days of going for the beach soley to look for hot girls...than finding none.

Yea those days are almost up. But one question I ask is...why are some people so DAMN eager to go back to college? I mean I understand that it was the greatest time of your life and you lost your virginity there and now you cannot wait to go back and be promiscuous as hell but come on.

Do we not enjoy being home any more? I love being home. I can do many things at home like err...myself.

See what I did there?

Lets take a chill pill and wait to go back for a month. You can resume your slutty activities then.

I am sick and tired of all the people putting their status' on Facebook saying
"I wish I was back home...AT SCHOOL"

"I miss all my school buddies"

"I will be waiting right at gate 6!"

DO YOU NOT HAVE FRIENDS AT HOME? I mean shit, do them or something.


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